American Rhetoric

"American rhetoric is the most intricately engineered and beautiful bullsh*t the word has ever seen"

Hi, my name is Shawn. I’m 27 years old and I just lost musical chairs at my tech company’s Christmas party. You cannot sink lower.

Jane Lynch is just trying to fill the void not left by Ellen Degeneres.

This is why the world hates America. http://t.co/QyZgIgJ9

Just saw a screening of Ghost Protocol. I think Brad Bird will be just fine directing live action films.

The Commodores AND Kool & The Gang are going to be at the casino! Gonna have to bleach my permed mullet, fire up my Fiero and go par-tay!

I’d be cool with it if any of you guys wanted to bring me a sandwhich.

Really wish @chefrp was here to give me a hug an share this salsa perfection http://t.co/Kvl7pr1l

You guys, my wife is awesome.

The new Twitter app is certainly cleaner… We’ll see if it can knock out Tweetbot.

RT @JordyHamrick: The comment threads on YouTube are the trailer parks of the Internet.

RT @alyankovic: Just saw a “For Your Consideration” Oscar ad for Green Lantern. HA! Best Picture? With Jack and Jill out this year??